u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
