yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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