O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
