So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
