Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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