I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize