Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
