Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
