Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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