Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
