Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
