girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
