They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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