Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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