I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's the barista slut.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
