So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
