what day is it and did you see me today?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize