I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im six kinds of drunk right now
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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