We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
