I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
