Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
