There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
