it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
