A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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