are you still at the devil's house?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
