she woke up with a sticky ear
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
