PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
