bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
