Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
