dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
