my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
