Kiss
Puke
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize