Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
