Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
