We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize