First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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