whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I would ride that face into the sunset
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
