Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
