ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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