hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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