Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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