This is not my ceiling
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
