Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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