Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was born a porn star she said
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
