we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
