..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
