it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
