Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
