Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
