how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize