I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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