Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
