i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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