so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
