In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
