you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
