dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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