mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
