whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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