Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
