Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
