We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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