I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
