If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
