i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
