so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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