i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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