Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
