i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
