East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
