After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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