omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
