New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
